I have a monster that lives under the bed in my own head!
We all do, and to be honest, this one used to scare the absolute shit out of me and have a very negative influence on my life controlling everything!
I decided enough is enough! And one day I made the decision to fight off this monster for good, because I didn’t want to live my life in fear anymore.
Something amazing happened, right at the time I went to fight it off by allowing it to show it’s big scary face, I instead ended up getting to know it and making friends with it. I realised something, it’s not so bad, it’s is actually looking out for me as a friend who’s been with me for every minute of my life, trying to fight off all the other monsters. You see the monster, who I lovingly named the “imposter monster,” through all his experience of being bullied and told he will never be good enough, Is simply trying to stop the same thing from happening every time I put myself out there with such high risk of criticism. He actually cares, just has a funny way of going about it reminding me of every mistake I’ve ever made daily.
You see we all have these monsters but we don’t have to be afraid of them. We can get to know them and have a healthy balance of fear and drive because we can see it as a challenge rather than a block in the road. This is just one of the many tools I use as a coach to help people and myself by identifying and naming the monsters that scare us.
For me personally, there’s not many moments that go by that I don’t have thoughts about whether or not I am good enough, I see all the other coaches as better than me, better because they appear to be the vision of health and fitness with their stunning marketing campaigns which leaves me thinking that person really has their “shit together” and I do not. These are the challenges I face every day because I have the imposter monster in my ear telling me all of this due to my past experiences and simply because, I am human and like everyone else have no control over what thought’s come up for me. The only difference is now, I have learned how to react or not react to the ones that aren’t very helpful. It’s not until you distance yourself and understand the imposter monster is trying to protect you out of fear trying to make you run in the opposite direction, that you can show compassion and understanding but not run with the ideas believing them to be the truth.
By remembering that no one is perfect and perfection is only a perception for each individual, by understanding each and every person is battling their own monsters every day helps you to detach from the fear and overcome it.
Here’s the thing, I don’t have my “shit together” nor am I the vision of perfection, but neither is anyone. Everything in life is temporary, so one minute you can feel like you have it all together, then a spanner can be thrown into the works and turn shit upside down and then you feel you’re back at stage one. Everyone faces challenges, everyone has demons and monsters and everyone is on a journey that is as unique as they are.
I don’t coach people to become perfectionists and examples of perfect healthy living because I would be doing a dis-service and going against everything I am.
I coach people to identify and understand the monsters in their worlds, let go of perfection, let go of comparing daily to be able to be free of the fear that’s controlling them. I help people to become the most authentic version of themselves, not the ideal version they have been led to believe they “should” be. I work on this daily for myself also using the tools and techniques I’ve learned in my own life because for myself and many other coaches, counsellors and helping professionals, we get it!
For more information visit: www.healthretreatathome.com